HAMA MAMA CASTS is a new feature at the Number 1 Film Site. Using our humongous film industry commentary expertise and vast fan knowledge we will offer a service to directors, film producers, and studios to help them cast their upcoming films. We expect no payment for these services, and trust only that our suggestions are taken seriously and considered in every casting meeting.
To start off this column, we will focus on the new BATMAN movie to be directed by either Christopher Nolan, Tim Burton, or Joel Schumacher. There have been six AWESOME movies in this franchise so far, and we're hoping the seventh will continue the tradition of excellence. However, we know that it's important to find the right cast and these are the names hot on the lips of every movie fan worth his weight in salt.
1) BATMAN - Christian Bale
He was good in the last two movies, and although he's not as hot as George Clooney or as creepy as Michael Keaton he does a good fake Batman gravel voice. He also fills out the batsuit nicely with his man muscles.
2) ALFRED - Richard Harris
I know, I know. Everyone loves Michael Caine. Except for me. The thing that's really stopping Batman from being a big success is that it needs more star talent. That's why I suggest the excellent Richard Harris who played Dumbledore in the Harry Potter movie franchise. On one hand Warner Brothers owns Harry Potter and on the other they own Batman, and those hands should be smooshed together with Richard Harris in the middle. Alternatively they could have Gary Oldman play Alfred AND the mayor because he's so good.
3) THE RIDDLER - Dr. Neil Patrick Harris M.D.
He's smart (see Doogie). He's funny (see Harold and Kumar). He's white (see his face). He can sing and dance (see Dr. Horrible, and not Rent). Neil Patrick Harris has a huge fanbase and would make the best Riddler since Tommy Lee Jones.
4) CATWOMAN - Halle Berry
Totally hot and sexy. She'd be a great Catwoman.
5) END CREDITS THEME SONG - Jon Bon Jovi
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